Well, all good things come to an end eventually, and now I don’t think I’ve been so sad in my life. I woke up this morning at 5:45 to shower and get my stuff together. By the time I got dressed, all of the Kims were ready to go… I gave them my gift, which got tattered and half destroyed on the flight over and the card I wrote them. I’m so going to buy them something else and mail it when I get back. I’m pretty embarrassed about my gift… But, we all hopped into the car, and were on our way.
After a night like last night and only two hours of sleep, I couldn’t really think of much else except Rebecca. Even though we’ve only gotten to know each other for a week, her face is so imprinted on my mind that I feel like I’ve known her for years… Like, I keep trying to think of who she looks like, and then realize that no one else really looks like her. I’ve never had to say ‘goodbye’ like that, and really, never experienced a loss like this.
I was kind of moping, but Jong-Hyun and Ju-Eun were keeping me pretty entertained in the car. Even on just a little sleep, they were their usual, crazy selves. We all shared some laughs…
We got to the airport and got me all checked in and everything. The line was pretty long, and by the time I was through it, the others had started to arrive at the airport and meet. I was moping pretty bad. CK was asking me some questions about general things, and this made me more sad because now I was thinking about how I’m going to miss him, YoungChai, Jong-Hyun and Ju-Eun.
Randomly, I’d think about leaving… Honestly, I think I might be ready to leave ‘Korea’ for home – I miss my independence (having control of my schedule and not being completely helpless without a translator). But, it’s the people that are killing me. Each thought of leaving just the people around me in Seoul got me fighting to maintain composure. They have done so much for us… The DEW ministry was so excited to have us, and other members of the church went such long distances just to drive us around, even though they could hardly speak English. We spent the most time here, and I definitely got the most attached here. Everyone was always looking out for us. It’s not the kind of general ‘looking out’ that I feel like most people do in the US, but a very attentive, pursuant ‘looking out.’ All of my host families have paid very close attention to me, to find out what I like and dislike so they could try to make me happy. Even while sitting, waiting for the others to get through check-in, YoungChai was trying to call Rebecca so I could talk to her one last time while in Korea… I guess she was sleeping still, but she kept trying… I saw her run off and go somewhere. She came back with a handful of change and Rebecca’s number on a Post-It so I could call her from a pay phone at the terminal… Wow, just wow…
By the time everyone got through check-in, we only had time for some group photos and then we had to get cranking… I only had 30 minutes to get through security, and the airport was pretty busy. While we were walking, I was saying my goodbyes to the other adoptees. I’m not sure I’d have been able to keep it together if we weren’t in such a rush, but I know I’ll be seeing them at the debriefing retreat…
But, when it was time to say goodbye to my host family, that was another story. YoungChai gave me a hug and the tears started welling. I am, as I write this, still on the brink of breaking down. I squeaked out a ‘thank you’… And then shook CK’s hand and gave him a hug. I couldn’t speak to say anything to him... I just looked him in the eye and nodded – I hope he understood. Then I was walking away, and I hear a train of ‘bye Daniel’s from not just my host family, but Pastor Park, Elder Kim, the other adoptees and the other host families and all I could do is try to keep from sobbing. I quickly waved and hurried to get out-of-sight so I could wipe my face off. But, while going through security, and going through boarding, and now, on the plane, if I think about any of them, I have to pause, hold my breath and close my eyes to keep from breaking down. I’ve never felt so sad to leave anything in my life.
I really love all the people I’ve met on this journey in Korea. I can’t think of a single one who didn’t do everything they could to show me love. I don’t think it’s fair that I get to experience this kind of love, and yet I certainly did nothing to earn it. This proves that people can love with God’s love, and I’ve never had so much shown to me, and me in specific, for such a long time. I know God is in the US, too, and I know that back home I have PLENTY of people that love and care for me… But right now, I am grieving for losing yet another family in Korea.
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