So... In Korean culture, meeting the parents only happens when a couple's about to get married. This past Saturday was my time.....
Ok, so let's back up a little bit and put some things in context for those that aren't too familiar with Korean culture. First... Koreans, like other Asians, usually live with their parents until they get married. They simply like being with their families, and usually, there's a mutual support kind of relationship. As such... dating in Korea sucks. :P Couples usually only date on the weekends b/c they're too busy with work or school... And when you date, you've always gotta go out here, or go out there... Get coffee, go to a restaurant... I mean, it's nice to go out and do stuff, but since everyone lives with their parents, there's no place to really just be alone and chillout. You've always gotta spend money... Kinda annoying. I've drank more coffee here than I have in the rest of my life combined, I think. :P Not because I wanted coffee, but because I/we just wanted a place to sit down. Anyways, anyways... The point is, because nobody takes their boyfriend/girlfriend home to hang out, nobody ever casually meets the parents.
So... meeting the parents is a big deal. I'm honestly not sure of the proper order of things, or if there is one... I mean, I proposed first, and it seems ok. Then again.... She already met my family, and I already met Rebecca's mom. She had wanted to see me quite a bit earlier.... just kinda casually (ok, I realize that contradicted what I just said earlier, but... well, you see my position, right?). She just wanted to see my face and give me a little something. She REALLY liked me. :) Not just because Rebecca talked to her a lot about me, but because she sympathized with my story (she has quite a story of her own) and she really felt I was from God. A lot of really little things here and there... But, essentially, since Rebecca was born, her mom had been praying for her, everyday, that she would find a good husband when she grew up. And she really thought that I would be that husband. So... I didn't have to do anything to impress her or anything. I already had her approval and favor.
But, Rebecca's dad on the other hand... was quite a different story. I DID need to impress him, and there was a lot of pressure on our first meeting. He's not really someone of faith like Rebecca's mom (whose faith is pretty amazing), and he doesn't really know all the details of my relationship with Rebecca. Recently, he heard about our plans to return to America together... And he'd been acting, well, differently. Not really in a good way, either... Definitely upset, but we weren't really sure why yet. It was his birthday this past Sunday, and Saturday was kind of his birthday dinner. Rebecca and her mom were telling me things I had to do to prep for the meeting: learn 큰절 (big bow), buy gifts, hand-write him a letter explaining things (since we can't directly communicate), wear a suit and tie and trim my facial hair...
So, Saturday, I suited up, did my hair, and met up with Rebecca early to go to Gangnam to buy a gift for her dad. We started driving... and traffic was really terrible! Terrible all over. We had to be back by 6pm... And though we had given ourselves plenty of time, so much of it was wasted sitting in traffic. We ended up going around in a big circle, trying to get to Apgujung... Just wasn't happening. Later, we found out because Obama was speaking at Hanuk University of Foreign Studies (right in Rebecca's neighborhood), they had all sorts of roads closed off for his flight in. So...... we didn't know and ended up going straight into all the mess. We ended up coming back to my house to use the bathroom, and my mom gave us some tips on how to get what we were after... We took a cab to a close-by department store and picked up a good bottle of wine and some dietary supplements, then took a cab back... Then drove back to Rebecca's apartment. We got there at 5:57pm. Quite close, huh? Despite the traffic, still made it back on time... with the gifts.
So... I popped out my earrings, straightened my shirt... This was it.
We opened the door and went in... Her mom and dad were right by the door and welcomed us in. Her dad was wearing a shirt and vest and everything, too. He had prepared for this. After a brief introduction, they sat down, and Rebecca and I bowed. Then her mom scuttled off into the kitchen, and her dad first asked if I could be responsible in America... Well, I thought it would be easiest to just have her translate my letter then, so she did. Essentially, I told him I was a hard worker, I wasn't a bad person, I follow God and I'll do my best to make Rebecca happy... In a whole page of my formal writing, so you can imagine how it went. He took it very seriously, and he said he was going to keep the letter forever so I would have to keep my promises. Going well, so far...
But, the next few things he would say were really... something...
He said that he initially wanted to be really strict with me at first, but he couldn't. He said that he felt that God had put us together, and that made him feel really safe about us. He said that he knew I was of good character because of the hardship I had gone through alone, and he said that he could relate because he had to grow up with a bad stepmother. I really couldn't believe my ears... I had no idea what to say; I was almost shocked. I expected him to ask difficult questions and was also expecting to have to defend myself and my plan without the use of God because I wasn't sure how he was with faith. And if you don't know how hard explaining God's plans are to someone without faith...... It's quite an uphill battle; impossible if anything. So... to hear HIM say that he was at peace with things because he thought God put us together..... Just wow. I had no idea what to say.
So... Rebecca's mom put out dinner for all of us and went off again... We broke open the bottle of wine and I poured her dad a glass and he one for me. We started eating... He said that he didn't have a son, but now he really felt like he had one, now. I was really... dumbfounded. I had no idea what to say. We had some more small talk... But, he really did most of the talking. We finished dinner and the whole bottle of wine... Had some fruit. After, he said that he would go do some work in the other room and let Hyewon and I have some time.
So, we started watching a movie on TV, but really just sat and chatted and played with our phones and some magazines. Her mom came by and joined us for a little... We just kinda let the time pass... After a while, it was time to go. So, everyone came out, I bowed and thanked them and that was that. Rebecca and I went to get some coffee and she took me home.
Sooooo... Things really... went way better than expected. Both Rebecca and I had been praying a lot about this meeting, and we knew God would take care of things. But, for it to have been this easy? Wow. I expected to have to do a lot of explaining and trying to impress... But, I hardly had to say a word. I hardly did say a word. Clearly, the battle was won before I even got there... Prayer works so powerfully, my friends. Especially when it is in line with what God already wants... One more obstacle down... One step closer to the goal.
